Category: Let's talk
I was talking with some friends about this topic. So, It does not refer to anyone, I just want all your opinion about this. Why is it that people will say that you’re a nice person if you give them what they want like unlimited friend advices, late night rings on the phone, and just about every thing that a good friend would do for you, but when the person says, no to them, people consider him or her bad, boring, unfriendly, or mean? is it just the nature of human beings to be selfish and desire more or does it refer to how they really thought about the person? How do you know the real motives and intentions of a person when they approach you? How do you know if someone is a true friend or a person not worth keeping? Feel free to give your suggestions about this topic. What do you think is the basis of friendship?
Are you asking us for the definition of "friend"? I think that's essentially what your post boils down to, what is a friend to you and what do you expect of them.
I think everyone's idea of a friend are different, but some commonalities include, someone who is willing to go out of his or her way for you, takes your side even if you are wrong 8but also tells you honestly what he/she thinks of it), has similar hobbies to yours so you can enjoy doing things together, someone you can feel relaxed and at home with, someone who you can not talk to for a year, then meet up with and it feels like not a day has passed since you last met, it's like nothing has changed, even if perhaps both you and your friend have changed. I find the latest to be the best definition for me. Sometimes I'm busy and don't have time for friends, sometimes I need them, sometimes I don't. To me a friend is someone who doesn't always demand attention, someone who is ok being #2 in your life at times, knowing that they'll always hold that spot no matter what else happens, someone you don't have to worry about offending or work hard to keep the relationship alive. I try to be there when my friends really need me, but if I am busy, on a date or something I will not hesitate to say no to a friend or ignore his/her phone calls for a few days. Those who know me are ok with this by now, they'll try to reach me if there's something seriously wrong and of course I'll make room for them if this is the case.
Bottomline though, a friend is someone who's friendship is, more or less, unconditional, that's the difference between a friend and your partner in many ways. Your partner requires exclusivity and full priority in your life, instead of course you get the more intimate love, the commitment that he/she will always be there, having a family and a life together, in a friend you get the less demanding and less close relationship, which is also a great thing to have. There should never be a need to choose, if a friend starts demanding too much of my time it will negatively affect the friendship.
I completely agree with poster 2. But unfortunately, many people don't - many people have primitive minds and are still so selfish that they can't understand some things and thoughts just slip away from their minds.
frindship should revolve around trust and honestly, just like caring is a two way street, so is friendship, a person can't just take, take, take with out giving nothing back, there needs to be equality on both sides, trust on both sides, care on both sides, and honesty on both sides. but that is just my thought on the matter.
Well, for me friendship is very important. A true friend cares about you. She/he will give advice if you need it, make you laugh when you are sad, trust you, and the one that will tell your wrong. A person who is honest, and many other things to consider. I could say this because i experience a destroyed friendship.
I totally agree. I am questioning myself on three friends that I have lost. I am asking myself if they were really my friends or not. If they were just wanted me for money?
Now that all of that happen I am having the hardest time trusting people.
I too have been used, by someone I trusted, and sometimes, all you can do is move on,
For me, friendship should have a degree of closeness. One should be able to trust a person and feell comfortable with that person. I also feell that a friend should be able to stick to you regardless of what views you might hold. That's my thoughts.
For me, friendship entails compromise. But then, I think any relationship does. Also, My good friends will tell me if I'm making a mistake. Sometimes though, friendship involves having to tell a person you think they're wrong as well. I suppose it all comes down to honesty. If someone is always demanding favors, but then not having the capacity to accept when you say no, is not really a friend. I'd call them a user. I once had a friend who was having some really difficult personal problems. I tried to assist her in whatever way I could. But, eventually, It became too much, and I had to end the friendship. This was difficult for me, but sometimes relationships can be toxic. Having a loving relationship with anyone should involve the other person's best interests, but it should also be a give and take process.
This is my definition of friendship. Someone who is willing to be honest with you regardless of the situation. Someone that would criticize you with the interest of making you a better person. Someone who is there in the good and bad times. And, someone who does not take you for granted. I posted this entry because I want to get different views about this topic. Sometimes, people tend to call you when something is going wrong, but you rarely recieve a call from someone just to talk for no particular reason or just to hang out. I know every one is busy figuring out their own life, but It just upsets me when people consider me their friend when they need something from me and then after I give my opinion about a situation and they do not agree with it. They will dismiss me for awhile. People will tell you that they respect your opinion, but it does not show within their actions. It really irritates me when they continue being stupid, self centered, and naive about the situation. I don't expect them to go with my advice, I just want them to stop interupting, every time I try to explain why they're being stupid some times. Another thing that irritates me about people is when they judge immediately. They always look at your appearance and what you have achieved, your status and people that surround you. Its so fake. They will call you their friend because they think they can benefit to be seen hanging out with you. Most of the time people are afraid to be themselves. Sometimes, it prevents them from being honest as well. If I have to be blunt, I would. I always have an explanation about my bluntness, but one thing that really makes me annoyed about people in general is how they back stab others or cover up for their mistakes and lie about it. I’m just mentioning a few things that made me decide to post this topic. You can look at different angles of the situation, but one thing remains, honesty is still the best policy. that’s one of the few traits that keeps a friendship alive.
To me, a dfriend is someone I can trust, someone I have a lot of things in common with, and someone that is there for me just as I am for them and will be honest with me, even though I may not like what they have to say.
A friend must be sinceer, but those who are unhappy, when you refuse them what they want for a moral reason (I wouldn’t blame them if it was immoral, or unreasoned out). isn’t good. Friends need to be sincere, and if decisions are moral, they should be excepted. A sincere, trustworthy, loyal, honest, and friendly friend is one I want. Nothing less than that. Not a friend who excepts everything you say, but one who will respect your views but also be able to disagree. One of my good friend is a devout Christian and I am for the most part unreligious. Perhaps not a completely unreligious person, but there’s not much to my religious believes. She hates pride, and I am an egoist. We also disagree on a number of things, yet, we get along just fine. Sure we disagree and have to find a common ground, but it will never stop me or her from being friends. Her and I too have said no to each other countless times, and yet, we are still friends. For example, I told her very clearly today, since we were discussing the subject, that I am a egoist, and still she didn’t hang up and never talked to me again. She just accepted it.